...


it's been a while now since i wrote here, 
so you should faint of suprise!
...
you can get of that ground now, 
cuz otherwise you won't here me
...
ok, i'm gonna write something i wrote in my own diary in dutch first,
just gonna share a corner of my brain with you
...

july is sneaking away through the backdoor of my mind.
july is taking a little piece of me away, not that much,
just enough to make place for august.
a new month will start
a new moth will try to conquer my hart with my head
and i'll let it come over me
and my eyes will only open
from the moment on that all the little pieces fell on their places
i think they call it memories

...

...


jaja
en zo gaan die dingen dan

komen en gaan

maar als je de weg ooit kwijt geraakt

ga dan naar de plaats waar de x-as en de y-as elkaar snijden

en vind de weg terug

maar doe niet opnieuw

want wat gebeurt is, is voorbij

in een doos

daar

...


stressed
from the moment i went to school
pasted it on my forehead
so everyone could see
stressed

sick
didn't go to school 
paste it on my forehead
so everyone can see
sick

what about tomorrow?
what do i have to prepare myself for?
because i'm sure my fate is already decided 

going to paste it on my forehead
so everyone will see
so nobody will have to ask me that  -uuuhhhrrr-  question
how is everything going?
READ IT ON MY FOREHEAD
and if you can't read, you're in trouble
nem! 

...


today feels ok
not good
but ok

today feels good
not perfect
but good

that's a lie
today was awful
3 words:
my school results
worked so hard for it
but that didn't matter
under 50% for my exams of mathematics and dutch
what to do now?

trying to forget that
black wind
by telling

today feels ok
not good
but ok

doesn't it?

made some photo's with a cd

( photos over here )

...


just took away what was mine
just took away my confidence
and then appear like everything is just normal

makes me angry
makes me change
and then appear like everything is just normal

she took everything from under my bed
she took a little piece from me
my personal things
the faith i had in her
and then went away

and i will be angry
to make myself stronger than i was before

and i will change
to make myself stronger than i was before

but always
appear like everything is normal

...


walking through the days
hoping something intresting will happen
as if i'm so intresting
as if i'm better than all those boring people
as if i'm not one of them

yes i am
i am boring
'cause i feel bored

that's why

'cause i have vacation
and first i went away for 3 days with some others of my age
and then i went to my best friend alicia
and then she came here, my house
and yesterday i went to jolien, another friend
so i did a lot of things i should say
and had lots of fun
but now i'm sitting here, and i'm bored
and i should do homework, but i don't want to
so i think i have a boring life
...

...


today is just a day
like all the others in my life
so i could just skip this day
but then my life wouldn't be mine anymore
so i'll live this day, just like i should

i had a french exam, which i didn't do too well i guess
and i'm so so hungry
and my feet hurt
and i have to go to the toilet all the time
and maybe i'll have to go to another school cause i have had a lot of bad results last time
and maybe i should be more optimistic
but then my life wouldn't be mine anymore
so i'll live this day, just like i should

and i did
and i'm still alive
so there actually wasn't any reason to post this 

...


hi!
this is my first post in english,
but i think i should try

in about a quarter i'm going to swim
in holland :D
i love holland!!
and holland loves me

you see, i'm just writing about
nothing
nothing
nothing
feels good to see that word :)

but i think, i'm just writing about
nothing :)
so that my fears of writing here, 
will dissapear

if ever that will happen,
i'll present myself